i've been reading up on weaning *sniff sniff*

i'm not positive why, but ever since my son turned one (9 months ago), i planned on nursing him until he was 2.  well, his 2nd birthday is approaching in a few months, so i've started reading some books on weaning.  i had always hoped that, by some miracle, maybe he would start to wean himself around this time.  yeah, i apparently totally pulled that one out of my ass.   here is one of many quotes (all in the same vain) about self-weaning that i have come across:

"Children allowed to wean themselves--that is, to end breastfeeding without hints, bribes, bottles, or other encouragements--seem to do so usually between ages four and six."

that's right ladies and gentlemen, ages FOUR and SIX....hmmm....

ugh, sometimes i wish i lived in mongolia or among the sioux indians, so i didn't even have to think about this weaning stuff.  not sure of my decision yet...

this one, from the nursing mother's guide to weaning, slayed me:

"But pressure to wean may come from people outside the immediate family. 'I really should quit,' said a four-year-old, like an addict nearly ready to kick the habit. 'You know, Bill quit.'  Another child, a four-and-a-half-year-old whose friends had teased her for nursing, couldn't openly discuss her confused feelings at first.  'I don't want to nurse...I hate you,' she told her mother, starting to cry.  When questioned, however, she explained the problem: 'I want to stop and I have to hate you so I won't want to nurse anymore.  I hate your breasts.' "

UPDATE: so a little more than a year after i wrote this post, as my son approached his 3rd birthday, i weaned him.   i was SO ready.   we had gotten nursing sessions down to once a day--upon waking in the morning.   in the previous months, we had narrowed down to 3 sessions, then 2, then just the one in the morning that i mentioned.   he finds comfort in his paci and still wants to cuddle and hold my boob at times, so i'm ok with that for now.   though i try to keep the boob holding to a minimum.   i was able to talk to him and explain all of this weaning to him in advance, so it wasn't super emotional for him.   he is still very cuddly with me.  we hold hands a lot while cuddling.

some books if you're pondering weaning...

when looking into buying parenting books, i tend to check out the reviews on amazon, and i also peruse our fabulous pediatrician, jay gordon's, newest addition to his website--"recommended reading"!

i must say that when i recently purchased the 2 books below, i expected pages upon pages of information of HOW to wean. strangely, each has only about 10 pages on actual weaning techniques.  the books mostly explain all angles of weaning--emotional, hormonal, logistical, causes, historical weaning....

though i expected the books to have more info on technique, i was not disappointed.  i am happy that i learned so much about such an important area of parenthood...did you notice how i didn't say motherhood?  although, weaning is ultimately under a mother's control, dad should have input too---and both books have sections for dads.

the books are:

the nursing mother's guide to weaning by kathleen huggins, r.n., m.s. (2007)

mothering your nursing toddler by norma jane bumgarner (2009)

finally a hooter hider that's subtle, sophisticated, and doesn't cook the baby in this heat.

as any of my friends can tell you, i am no hooter hider.

that came out wrong.

what i'm trying to say is that when i nurse my son, i do not feel compelled to hide my breast.  i'm not sure if it's my breastfeeding-activist-in-training side coming out or just a lack of embarrassment since my breasts can hardly been seen by the naked eye anyway.

if you ARE a hooter hider, rejoice!   there is finally a hooter hider cover up that does not resemble a tent with a print that lady miss kier would've worn in the "groove is in the heart" video....that all the while traps heat like a locked car in the summer.

baby bond has created a beautiful, minimal cotton jersey hooter hider in chic solids (charcoal, chocolate, black, navy $35) that comfortably crosses your chest like a simple baby sling with a small opening for your breast.   they have 3 different styles, one of which (see photo above) can cover your breasts for top of shirt nursing or can cover your post baby belly for those who prefer to lift their shirt to nurse (see photo below. your own shirt covers your breasts in this set up).

check them all out here.

breastfeeding site on milk donation, induction for adoption, and more...

someone who means a whole heckuvalot to me, has had more challenges as a new mom than anyone i know personally.   i will not go into detail, but you'll have to trust me here.  one of her challenges, which we moms all have to some degree, has to do with breastfeeding.  she recently shared an amazing site with me called milk share.

it is a place that mothers who need, or want to give, donated breast milk can go to connect.  this site does not sell breast milk, but they help connect people in need.  in addition, they have extremely current and unique info (some of which i have not come across before) on the following breastfeeding topics and more:

supplemental nursing devices (photo above)
induction for adoption
nursing after surgery
building supply
freezing guidelines
choosing the right storage container
formula vs. breastmillk

feed baby breast milk bottle at the same time of day it was pumped.

that's right, recent studies show that nucleotides (structural units of dna), and other ingredients in breast milk, perform an important role in regulating a baby's sleep.  they suggest that you if you pump at night, label the stored milk with the time, and feed it to the baby at the same time of night on a later date.  read more here.

an excerpt:

"You wouldn't give anyone a coffee at night, and the same is true of milk – it has day-specific ingredients that stimulate activity in the infant, and other night-time components that help the baby to rest", explains Sánchez.

photo via here.

the best gift for someone that's having a baby soon...

if you know someone that's having a baby and planning on breast feeding, then i have a recommendation for the most important gift you can give them.  so far, nearly every new mother i know would have needed and appreciated this gift.  the gift is a local lactation specialist.

when you're sleep deprived and in new-motherhood haze and need guidance with breast feeding, then having a local lactation specialist's number is priceless.  even if breast feeding goes smoothly in the beginning, a new mom needs to know that baby's latch is correct and she needs info on how to avoid infections, deal with pumping, advice on weaning, and much more.  breast feeding does not always come naturally.  mothers need help.

i know i have posted on this before, but i feel really strongly about the subject.

if you need a local lactation specialist, please contact the la leche league (click on "find local support") and as a local leader for a reference.  they can guide you to specialists that do home visits.  your pediatrician may also be able to refer a lactation specialist.  ideally, a mother would need help in the first week.  usually, a specialist will meet with mom for 2-3 hours.  some charge hourly ($60+/hr) and some do a flat fee that puts them on call until weaning ($200+).  if you're in the los angeles area, i highly recommend jennifer goodson (818 400 9525).  she is a nurse and amazing lactation specialist at dr. jay gordon's office and does home visits.

photo via here.

when cancer leads to abrupt weaning....

ready to feel really extremely grateful and compassionate?  read this incredibly moving post about mothers that are forced to cut breast feeding short because of cancer treatments.  the post is on an awesome blog called blacktating (my new favorite blog name)--breast feeding news and views from a mom of color.

photo via here.

breastfeeding? low milk supply?

it can be extremely emotional for a new mother to experience low breast milk supply.  plus, unfortunately, once you introduce anything other than breast milk to fill baby (ie formula or water), your body says "oh, baby isn't eating as much, so don't produce as much milk as yesterday."so it's a little bit of a catch 22 that should be handled with delicate intuition day by day.  the other challenge that comes with introducing a bottle, is that the baby gets instant gratification, so he finds it more time consuming to work at getting milk at the breast.

once you get him on, be sure he stays on until he falls asleep or takes himself off--otherwise he will not get the higher fat hind milk that comes after the watery, low fat fore milk in the beginning.

if you are experiencing low milk supply, please try the following (some work within 24 hrs):

*these herbal supplements (they come highly recommended)
*make and eat these fenugreek sprouts
*this mother's milk tea
*drink lots of water (1-2 glasses per nursing session)
*nurse, nurse, nurse as much as possible
*try not to skip feedings, even at night
*read more here

photo via here.

fantastic pregnancy and parenting book all-in-one

mothering magazine published a wonderful, and very thorough, book called natural family living : the mothering magazine guide to parenting .  it has great info on everything from the fear factor of childbirth to questions to ask on your hospital tour to worries about milk supply while breastfeeding to breast infections to vaccinations to starting healthy solid food to positive discipline....

need i say more?

i probably have no business posting this on here, but....

ok, maybe i could say that these would be cute diaper bags.  and you could nurse in one of the tops below.  but mainly i just wanted to share some cute stuff.  and it's from ll bean!!!  i'm surprised, are you?  i love when old-school companies rock updated versions.

don't forget to go to retailmenot.com for coupon codes for free shipping, etc.

always try to breastfeed when baby gets a shot

if your baby has to get a shot (or any invasive procedure like stitches, etc), try to breastfeed her during it to keep her cortisol, a stress hormone, levels low.  if you are not allowed to breastfeed during the procedure, try to nurse right away after.  if you are no longer breastfeeding, a good snuggle and letting baby be comforted by your smell will certainly help soothe them.

natural rubber pacifiers

ok, i admit, i was a little down on pacifiers before i became a mother. for some reason, i guess i always associated them with neglectful parents that shoved them into their kids' mouths to get them to stop crying.  or maybe i had a fear of having a 7-year-old that wouldn't part with his paci.

none of this shit matters to me anymore.  if a paci works, use it.  my son wasn't interested in one for the first 3 months of his life.  then one day, he couldn't settle into his nap, but guess what did the trick?? he's one and still naps with one.  it also settles him in the car sometimes. if he's walking into 5th grade with one, we'll deal with it then...not worried about it.

you'll see my previous post below about an infant's and child's need to suck from birth (whether it's a thumb of a pacifier) for at least 2 years. i say give 'em what they need!

if you're concerned about the excessive exposure to the toxins in the rubber or silicone nipple, check out these european natural rubber pacifiers by natursutten.  i recommend buying at least a 2 pack of whatever size/age baby is at...meaning, they are sized 0-6 months and 6 months onward.

btw, go for the "orthodontic" style.  that other lightbulb shape they make has never worked for any moms i know.

here is the product description:

All Natursutten pacifiers are made from pure, natural rubber from the tree Hevea brasiliensi. Natursutten pacifiers are conform to the Pacifier Safety requirements by European standard EN 1400. Made in the E.U. No allergy causing substance (the protein that on rare occasions can provoke a latex allergy is eliminated during production) No artificial color. No chemicals softener; parabens, PVC, phtalates and BPA (bisphenol-A) free. Rubber pacifier are softer than silicone, the Natursutten pacifiers are extremely hygienic because they are molded in one piece. This means there is no joints or cracks where dirt and bacteria can accumulate. Natursutten pacifiers shield is larger than conventional shields in order to prevent babies to squeeze the flexible material enough to get into their mouth. It will also not leave marks on babies' face. Because of their natural quality, Natursutten pacifiers should be replaced every 4 to 5 weeks.

to go along with your paci...

....trust me,  you're going to want to buy a clip-on pacifier bungee---when the round natural pacis hit the floor, they roll for miles sometimes!  babies love to chew on these bungees, so you may want to buy an organic one.  binkee bungee makes the only organic one i've ever been able to find.  works great...you may want to buy 2.

is thumb sucking normal?

it makes me sad when i hear stories of kids who are shamed or have oral thumb-pricking devices implanted, because they suck their thumbs.   it is believed by some that kids suck their thumbs to make up for what they aren't getting at the breast.   according to author and anthropology professor, kathy dettwyler phd, thumb sucking is not seen in babies in nepal, india, ecuador, papua new guinea, mexico, south africa and more.  here is a tidbit from her website:

"My own research suggests that the absolute minimum time human children have evolved to expect breastfeeding to continue is 2.5 years, with a range of 2.5 to 7 years. Thus, one would expect that for many of them, their sucking instincts will remain strong throughout this period, and thus one would expect a child nursed for 2 years to be very likely to still have the instinctive urge to suck til 6, 7, 8 years or even longer. I strongly encourage parents of thumb-suckers to let their children suck their thumbs (fingers, pacifiers) as long as they need to."

read more on this by clicking here.

i know i'm preaching to the choir here, but did you know....

.....that the world health organization says the following about breastfeeding?:

"A recent review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants.  Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond."

To enable mothers to establish and sustain exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, WHO and UNICEF recommend:

*Initiation of breastfeeding within the first hour of life
*Exclusive breastfeeding - that is the infant only receives breastmilk without any additional food or drink, not even water
*Breastfeeding on demand - that is as often as the child wants, day and night
*No use of bottles, teats or pacifiers"

ok, did you hear that people?  "up to 2 years of age or beyond!!"  it is not creepy or infantalizing to breastfeed babies over the age of 6 months---so please be sure to show the love (instead of the stink eye) to mothers who chose to do so.

20 mothers breastfeed newborn after mother passes away

this is an incredibly beautiful and sad story:

Nursing Moses: Moms step in after infant's mother dies

The day Charles Moses Martin Goodrich entered the world, a new community was conceived.

As the newborn breathed in life, his mother, Susan Goodrich, began to die. Less than 12 hours after having her son, the 46-year-old mother of four was gone. The cause was a rare amniotic fluid embolism.

It was January 2009, and shell-shocked widower Robbie Goodrich was forced to immediately think of the baby's most basic need: milk.

For $5 an ounce, he could have purchased frozen donor breast milk, the kind of sustenance he knew his wife wanted for the boy. There was talk of tracking down a wet nurse. A friend left a message offering to breast-feed the newborn herself.

What evolved in the coming days still touches Goodrich. More than 20 mothers in Marquette, a city of 20,000 in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, volunteered to nurse baby Moses.

All these months later, they're still at it.

"It's been such an incredible outpouring of community love for this child of mine," said Goodrich, a 44-year-old history professor at Northern Michigan University, where his late wife worked, too, teaching Spanish and Portuguese. "This has certainly stretched the parameters of what is public. I've had to open the door to complete strangers, inviting them into the most private, intimate part of my life."

Carrie Fiocchi, 29, was first to breast-feed Moses. She'd received a call from a nurse midwife who belonged to her Unitarian Universalist church.

When she heard what had happened to the Goodrich family, both she and her husband, with whom she immediately shared the story, fell apart. They were first-time parents to a 6-week-old girl.

They'd realize later that they had met Robbie years before. But in that moment, they didn't hesitate to help a stranger. The next morning, Fiocchi walked into Goodrich's home, where grieving family members had gathered in preparation for Susan's funeral, and took Moses into her arms.

"It was awkward and very sad and really wonderful at the same time," said Fiocchi, who has nursed Moses at 9 a.m. every day since then, with daughter Siri in tow.

Her husband, Matt, has developed a friendship with Goodrich and tags along with his wife and daughter at least once a week. He added, "Not being able to do anything myself, feeling kind of impotent, for me it was a matter of wanting to help and feeling privileged to be involved in any way."

The inclination to volunteer similarly drove Kyra Fillmore, 31.

"Ever since I became a mother, I've felt a connection with other mothers," said Fillmore, who has three children. "I was nervous. It was very emotional. I didn't know what to expect. But I felt like I needed to do this for Susan, even though I didn't know her."

A handful of mothers did know Susan and loved her for her brilliance, wit and passionate spirit.

A former student of Susan's from a decade earlier, Karla Niemi, 30, said that helping has brought her a sense of peace. And a former student of Robbie's who then became a close friend of the couple's, Sarah McDougall, 28, said that nursing Moses "gave me a way to be there for her and her family in a way I wouldn't have known how to do otherwise."

It turned out that finding volunteers was the easy part, said Nicoletta Fraire, 35, who considered Susan her closest friend in Marquette and organized the effort. And they'd checked with specialists to know that what they were doing was safe. The difficult part, Fraire said, was working out logistics, especially in the beginning.

Initially, there were seven women a day to juggle. Some of the moms had easy-to-remember set schedules, others had more staggered assignments, and then there were those on call. Many could travel to Moses, but some needed the baby to come to them. And donations for night feedings had to be gathered.

Over the months, some women moved away, weaned their own children or became pregnant. New eager-to-help moms cropped up. Toss in occasional sicknesses and vacations, and the feedings -- which the group set out to continue for at least a year -- became a carefully orchestrated dance.

A white board mapping out the choreographed schedule still stands in Goodrich's dining room.

But making sure Moses was cared for, although complicated, was something Fraire wanted -- even needed -- to do.

"I didn't see it as a hard job but mostly as something that's helped me fill the void," she said. "I did it for Susan. I know she would have done it for me."

Not only have these women helped Moses, the steady flow of company -- which often includes kids and husbands -- has nurtured Goodrich, too. It has been a constant in his life and his home, where he's also raising Julia, his and Susan's 2∏ -year-old daughter. Two older kids from Susan's first marriage live nearby with their biological father.

"I don't know if you can make this year any easier," said Goodrich, who is emotionally still muddling through. "But I have people there to share it with me. And you can imagine, they're compassionate, empathetic people."

Just as these moms have cuddled and nourished Moses, their own children feel embraced in the Goodrich home and often beeline to where the snacks are stored. Husbands read to Julia while their wives nurse the baby, and Robbie bonds with families who've become an extension of his own.

Mothers who've stopped breast-feeding still check in and come by for regular visits. The group stays in touch on Facebook, by phone and over shared meals and walks. Friendships, outside the Goodrich household, have been formed. They all gathered to celebrate when Moses ate his first solids.

"It's a valuable gift for everyone involved," said Tina Taylor, 39, who prolonged the nursing of her own youngest child so she could continue feeding Moses. "It's taught us the importance of family, community and sharing."

Taylor and the more than two dozen other women who've nursed Moses know they cannot replace what was lost hours after he was born. But the father they've reached out to help says they've given his son something he could have never provided on his own.

"He's a healthy, happy, well-adjusted boy," he said, "who has always known a mother's love."

be aware of your body's vitamin levels during pregnancy and while breastfeeding...

if you are going to breastfeed, it would be ideal for you to get a blood test of, at the very least, your vitamin levels.   try to get this test done in the baby's 4-8-months-old zone.  by this time, you can accurately detect what the baby is sucking out of you (ie making you deficient in) in time to change it without it affecting baby's health.   lactating women are commonly deficient in vitamin d, b12, and zinc.

regarding pregnancy, it is often normal for your ob/gyn to conduct a blood test near the beginning of your pregnancy to test for anemia, etc.  of course, you can certainly request a more in depth test too.

while pregnant and breastfeeding, your recommended dietary allowance of these most commonly deficient vitamins is likely:

vit d3 (as calciferol) = 5,000 IU -- or spend 20 minutes/daily in sunlight, no sunscreen.
vit b12                     = 2.8 mcg
zinc                         = 12 mg

for pregnancy and lactating vitamin and mineral supplement fact sheets, check out the national institute of health's site.  although, i know, for example that they really low-ball on vitamin d.  read more about 5,000 iu of vitamin d here.

the best way to know for sure what you should take to supplement is to get a blood test--if you are deficient in something, you may need up to 5 times more than the rda.

recent nyt article : does breastfeeding help you loose the baby weight?

this past week, there was an interesting article in the new york times about whether breastfeeding helps mothers lose weight.   some not only lose the weight, but start dipping below their original pre-pregnancy weight.
if you intend to breastfeed, you'll have to eat approximately 500 calories more than normal for your baby.  but be careful that they are not just empty carb calories.  aim for fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains, etc.

first weeks with baby : you're going to need help

you may be superwoman, but caring for a newborn is like nothing you've ever experienced.  it certainly is not impossible, but at the very least, please ask your husband to stay home form work for the first week home from the hospital.  beyond that, trust me, take up every offer of help because you will need it.  if someone offers to drop off food, just tell them yes and when they should do it.  if a friend offers to come over and sit and hold the baby, say yes and take a shower or a nap.  and have them grab lunch for you on their way---and they may also need to put it straight into your mouth for you or you might forget.  if you're breastfeeding, you need to constantly eat to replenish--and some days it is tough to constantly prepare snacks for yourself.  also, you should drink at least a glass of water each time you breastfeed your baby.

if you breastfeed, try to do it in front of young girls....

does my title sound extremely creepy?  all i'm trying to say is that we learn by example, and it's important that girls witness women breastfeeding their babies.  that way, those girls will grow up and not only feel comfortable breastfeeding, but also have an idea of how it's actually done.