birth rape

"birth rape"....an interesting and controversial term, no doubt.  a recent article out of sydney, australia discusses:

"We have previously discussed studies linking difficult births with post-traumatic stress disorder and post-natal depression, the result of which has left some women reluctant to consider pregnancy and childbirth again.
But couple a horror birth with a doctor, midwife or healthcare professional who has little regard for the labouring woman and penetrates or examines her without consent, using instruments or his/her hand, and the controversial notion of “birth rape” is born.
Examples of birth rape include internal vaginal examinations without consent, breaking membranes without consent and inserting of forceps and other instruments into the vagina against the mother’s wishes.
Some women who claim to have experienced birth rape describe incidents where doctors or midwives made belittling and degrading comments when they could not birth fast enough, stitching lacerations without anaesthetic and inserting catheters without warning."

what's really interesting to me is how, in the comments section below the article, the aussie women are beside themselves at how "ridiculous" this all is.  while in the american women here can really relate.

photo via here.

"amazon mom" new discount club on amazon

ok, here's what i understand this brand-new moms club to be:

*not just for moms, but any caretaker
*30% off diapers and wipes that you have signed up for as a  scheduled delivery
*free 2-day shipping for the first 3 months.  it continues like this : for  every $25 you spend in the baby department, you earn a month more  of free 2-day shipping.
*emails from amazon about discounts and helpful product  recommendations.

i loooove this since i am already buying nature babycare diapers off of amazon, so it's aaaallll gooood!

fantastic pregnancy and parenting book all-in-one

mothering magazine published a wonderful, and very thorough, book called natural family living : the mothering magazine guide to parenting .  it has great info on everything from the fear factor of childbirth to questions to ask on your hospital tour to worries about milk supply while breastfeeding to breast infections to vaccinations to starting healthy solid food to positive discipline....

need i say more?

what are the emf's doing to us?

emf stands for electromagnetic frequency.  what i'm talking about here are the electric and magnetic waves that flood our lives now.  some could say they have been a threat since the invention of electricity, but those emf's are typically only mentioned in the case of high voltage power lines near homes causing health problems.   i'm not really talking about electricity in this post though...

i am talking about emf's coming from wireless phones, internet, cell phones, BABY MONITORS, etc.   for some reason, we all seem to just trust that wireless technology (that is nearly inescapable in this country) is not interfering with our health.  wifi is out of sight, out of mind, right?  certainly, cell phone companies will not be offering up any studies....nor will the wifi companies any time soon.  all i'm saying is.....ever heard of the tobacco industry?

ok, well that's not ALL i'm saying.  what i'm also saying is please be mindful about where your baby sleeps when it comes to emf waves. consider the placement of wireless baby monitors (do you really need one?), laptops, cell phones, and your wifi source (if you live in my house, there are 9 coming in from neighbors already).  consider turning all of your devices off when you go to bed if possible.

read up on emf's here and about children and emf's here.

photo via here.

if it's good enough for giselle, it's good enough for you...home birth!!

news has just been released that supermodel giselle's december 8, 2009 birth of her son with tom brady took place in their boston home's bathtub!  yeehaw!!  love it!

read more here.

other celebrities that have had home births include cindy crawford, alyson hannigan, erykah badu, maria bello, and ricki lake.  ricki captured her home birth in her phenomenal home birth documentary the business of being born.  you HAVE to watch this film if you are pregnant.

fda finally admits bpa is bad

ten years after leading scientists have questioned the safety of bpa (bisphenol a), the fda has finally said, this month, that it is to be of some concern for effects on the brain, behavior and prostate gland in fetuses, infants, and young children.  read more on jennifer taggart's smartmama site.

bottom line, stay away from canned foods (nearly all have bpa in the lining) and polycarbonate plastic (marked by #7 on bottom of container).  use more glass!!  replace as much plastic as possible in your life with glass or stainless steel.

check out:

eden organic food products who have non-bpa lined canned foods. find them at whole foods or online.

non-bpa products website the soft landing.

non-plastic products at the website life without plastic.

dr. mercola's no-nonsense guide to a naturally healthy pregnancy and baby

this is a really great up-to-date guide if you are pregnant.  please check it out here.

natural rubber pacifiers

ok, i admit, i was a little down on pacifiers before i became a mother. for some reason, i guess i always associated them with neglectful parents that shoved them into their kids' mouths to get them to stop crying.  or maybe i had a fear of having a 7-year-old that wouldn't part with his paci.

none of this shit matters to me anymore.  if a paci works, use it.  my son wasn't interested in one for the first 3 months of his life.  then one day, he couldn't settle into his nap, but guess what did the trick?? he's one and still naps with one.  it also settles him in the car sometimes. if he's walking into 5th grade with one, we'll deal with it then...not worried about it.

you'll see my previous post below about an infant's and child's need to suck from birth (whether it's a thumb of a pacifier) for at least 2 years. i say give 'em what they need!

if you're concerned about the excessive exposure to the toxins in the rubber or silicone nipple, check out these european natural rubber pacifiers by natursutten.  i recommend buying at least a 2 pack of whatever size/age baby is at...meaning, they are sized 0-6 months and 6 months onward.

btw, go for the "orthodontic" style.  that other lightbulb shape they make has never worked for any moms i know.

here is the product description:

All Natursutten pacifiers are made from pure, natural rubber from the tree Hevea brasiliensi. Natursutten pacifiers are conform to the Pacifier Safety requirements by European standard EN 1400. Made in the E.U. No allergy causing substance (the protein that on rare occasions can provoke a latex allergy is eliminated during production) No artificial color. No chemicals softener; parabens, PVC, phtalates and BPA (bisphenol-A) free. Rubber pacifier are softer than silicone, the Natursutten pacifiers are extremely hygienic because they are molded in one piece. This means there is no joints or cracks where dirt and bacteria can accumulate. Natursutten pacifiers shield is larger than conventional shields in order to prevent babies to squeeze the flexible material enough to get into their mouth. It will also not leave marks on babies' face. Because of their natural quality, Natursutten pacifiers should be replaced every 4 to 5 weeks.

tell all your friends : women can birth babies without drugs

these are the posts where i risk losing my own friends, but what can i say?  just because i am trying to spread the word on how positive the unmedicated birth experience is, doesn't mean i am a hater on all of those who chose to do otherwise.  plus, look, sometimes i just have to rant!

i often feel like we need a news flash (breaking news!!) about how women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time without drugs.  our bodies are created for this.   unfortunately, the media and society and the medical community consistently espouse fear about the pain of childbirth---and the relief of the almighty epidural.  imagine the possibilities if the opposite were happening.

of course, there are times when life or death is truly on the line, and interventions must be made--that is not what i am questioning.

you are not "super woman" if you choose natural birth.  you are woman.  unfortunately, you are seen as  "taking a risk" by most, because natural birth is no longer the norm.  the fact of the matter is that "the norm" (fun with quotes this morning, sorry) is birthing without drugs....see the last 2 million years.  the epidural has only been publicly administered for 50-ish years.

will someone please provide me with a long term study of the effects on humans of the following birth interventions?

--cesarean section (over 32% of births in the u.s., world health org suggests no higher than 15%,  u.s. rate in 1965 was 4.5%)
--epidural
--pitocin
--premature umbilical cord clamping

if you are pregnant, please read this article on c-sections

the awesome pregnancy site, childbirth connection, has a wonderful, super informative page about cesarean sections.   here are some tidbits:

"Reasons for the Rising Cesarean Section Rate

The following interconnected factors appear to be pushing the cesarean rate upward.

Low priority of enhancing women's own abilities to give birth
Care that supports physiologic labor, such as providing continuous support during labor through a doula or other companion and using hands-to-belly movements to turn a breech (buttocks- or feet-first) baby to a head-first position, reduces the likelihood of a cesarean section. The decision to switch to cesarean is often made when caregivers could use watchful waiting, positioning and movement, comfort measures, oral nourishment and other approaches to facilitating labor progress. The cesarean section rate could be greatly lowered through such care.

Side effects of common labor interventions
Current research suggests that some labor interventions make a c-section more likely. For example, labor induction among first-time mothers when the cervix is not soft and ready to open appears to increase the likelihood of cesarean birth. Continuous electronic fetal monitoring has been associated with greater likelihood of a cesarean. Having an epidural early in labor or without a high-dose boost of synthetic oxytocin ("Pitocin") seems to increase the likelihood of a c-section."

read the entire article here.

expect the unexpected...

....not to be confused with what to expect when you're expecting....


i recently came across a lovely story about a second time mom who desired a home birth VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarian).  i would like to share it in defense of women who end up in unwanted cesarians, yet make the experience as peaceful as possible.   click here for this well-photographed story.

important information on vitamin d

perhaps you have been hearing the buzz this last year about the incredible value of vitamin d.  you will not hear about it from the big drug companies (aka the government and media) as they have no way to capitalize off of vitamin d.  you can get it for free from the sun or a basic vitamin.

more and more information is coming out about vitamin d's benefits including reducing cancer and countless other diseases.    it is so easy to make sure you are getting enough vitamin d---get a blood test of your vitamin levels.  if you are low, as 85%-95% of americans supposedly are, start taking it daily in the form of d3 cholecalciferol (5,000-10,000 iu).   getting 10-20 minutes of sun, without sunscreen, around high noon will help too.

please read more amazing vitamin d info here.

mercola has a vitamin d3 spray.  click here for an easy dissolvable sub-lingual form.

UPDATE : a japanese study has shown that children who take vitamin d3 are 58% less likely to catch influenza a!

UPDATE : the american academy of pediatrics recommends pregnant women take 4,000 iu daily of vitamin d3.

more on....zzz....zzz....swine flu....zzz

i always love our updates from our wonderful pediatrician jay gordon on H1N1.  because just when the media starts to creep under my skin and frighten me with swine flu statistics,  i have a great calming email in my inbox from him on the topic.  here is a snippet...

"The CDC released fatality data this past week and were quite clear in their assessment of this relatively non-virulent strain of influenza:

75-80% of the 76 children had significant or severe underlying medical problems.

Any child's death creates an extremely difficult public discussion but of the 300,000,000 Americans there are 45,000,000 children and teens and there have been 76 deaths of younger people. About 15 of these deaths occurred in seemingly healthy children and teens.

Please put all of these numbers in the proper perspective and realize that there are many important lifesaving topics for the media to publicize but none which sell papers and create TV viewership quite as well as this new flu."
read the entire message on his very informative website here.

what labor feels like

before i had my first baby 10 months ago, i remember asking a friend with 2 kids what labor feels like.  i asked,"is it like crampy or burning or tearing or what?" and she said,"yes, all of those."----gulp.  and this coming from someone that had 2 medicated births...i knew i was in for a challenge as i was planning for an unmedicated homebirth.

i wish i had known i was doing this actual post back during my homebirth labor, in which case, i would have asked my doula to take notes as i called out every single variety of sensations i was having.   it's true that amnesia of the pain sets in after the birth. but i'm going to try my best here.

labor, for me, came on like menstrual cramps in my low back (i'm going to continue to use the word cramp, but what i am describing is the menstrual kind, not the stabbing or gassy kind).   these were different from the frontal uncomfortable braxton hicks cramps i was having all day that day.   i knew the labor contractions were new and different, because they were timing out consistently (as compared to braxton hicks which were more random and just a hardening of the belly like a turtle shell).

the first couple hours, the cramping (again that dull menstrual feeling--but much stronger) came on quickly and intensely.   3 hours in (which flew by in a blink), i was on my side in bed, with a body pillow, semi-yodeling on my out breaths.   i took a bradley class but i could not, for the life of me, be quiet when breathing out.   i always moaned or yodeled.   i had a hard time standing as every time a contraction came on, i would keel over to hold onto something, get an intense cramping/pressure in my uterus, need to sort of bend my convulsing legs slightly, and end up on my tip-toes to get through the contraction. shower didn't really help....was hard to stand.

once i got into my rented birthing tub, i had the urge to push---so i did, and i saw my plug shoot out/my water broke.   this was all somewhat relieving because i was able to move into a different sensation that felt a little more proactive and controllable.   it's so strange how one minute you think the repeated crampy contractions feel like they're lasting forever, and then out of nowhere you have the urge to push.

i am skipping details of my birth story (which i will write about later) in order to only focus on the feelings in this post.

my labor was very short for a first baby (6 hours), and so ok----back to the pushing.    i tried squatting, side lying, sitting on the toilet, but ended up on my back in bed (the last place i wanted/envisioned).   i really needed to be able to be very well supported while pushing, because it takes extreme energy and focus.   i would have needed to be a body builder to hold onto my husband while squatting and trying to push---when i tried, all of the focus/energy was on just supporting my upper body, instead of on pushing, during a contraction...not good.

when you are in the pushing phase, you wait for a contraction to come on (they are happening approximately every 2 minutes at his point), and when it does, you want to be focused and ready.   you are in position (me on my bed with both legs jacked up--2 different people were holding them), and you feel the contraction/cramping coming on, so you take a deep breath and push like your life depends on it in a very focused area (this comes naturally).   i guess it could be compared to having a very constipated bowel movement with all of your abs and pelvic muscles engaged.   you get about 2-3 pushes in before the contraction ends and you have to wait for the next one.   some people push 5 minutes, i pushed 3.5 hours (which is HIGHLY unusual--i was distracted by vomiting and baby's foot kicking up under a rib causing sharp cramping).

here's the part no one talks about---when the baby's head is just reaching it's largest circumference at your vaginal opening, if you don't get it out during that push..........you just hang out (la-la-la) and wait a couple minutes until the next contraction.   i'm not gonna lie to you, this is when i was screaming bloody murder (and thought my neighbors might call the cops)---see photo above.   in the multitude of resources that i studied before birth, i never read about the huge head just sitting there while you wait 2 minutes for the next contraction to come on.  it is a hot, burning, stretching feeling.   i think it took me about 2-3 more contractions to get the head out.  after that, the rest of the baby's body is pie.   the doctor is in full effect helping glide the head and shoulders out gently.  my son's cord was wrapped around his neck, but this is not uncommon and not a problem unless it gets pinched somewhere (and restricts oxygen flow). the fetal heart monitor would have alerted us had there been a problem here.

once the baby is out, you are so awash in endorphins and oxytocin bliss, that the stitches (if you have to get any--i had 4 after a local novocaine shot) and the placenta coming out are like complete non-events. you basically do not feel them.  even the entire labor quickly vanishes from your mind.  it's the most bizarre and wonderful thing.

i must say that people probably do not talk about true labor details for 3 reasons: a. most do not have unmedicated births, b. you honestly do get amnesia about it, and c. it sounds scary.

i will write more later in how this was the most amazing experience of my life, and that i recommend it for anyone that is interested.

these are the positives of labor :

--you are in another dimension, so hours fly by in what feels like minutes
--the pain stops between contractions, so it is bearable
--your body naturally provides the endorphins you need to relieve you
--you know the pain will stop in the near future
--you are doing this to receive life's greatest gift (why should it be easy-breezy?)
--the pain is no where near as bad as society makes it out to be (my pain expectations were so high that i was relieved that it wasn't that bad)

as a comparison, i am having nerve pain in my arm right now and it is 100 times worse than natural childbirth.  particularly because it is non-stop, and i don't know if or when it will get better.

here is my stating-the-obvious disclaimer : this was my experience and everyone has a different one.

flu vaccine information

please read (or watch the video) here about the flu vaccine.  extremely important information on how the vaccine is made, its ingredients, safety, efficacy, and how to avoid the flu without it.  plus, see how distorted the cdc's facts (scare tactics) are about annual flu deaths---yet how children's deaths from the flu have hugely increased since kids five and under started getting vaccinated in 2003.

best pregnancy books

gosh, there are so many books on pregnancy out there, it can be hard to know where to start.  here are some goodies:

birthing from within--my and my husband's personal fave (though i opted out of the pregnancy art chapters).  if you're aiming for a natural birth, this is a must-read...thoughtful and empowering.

the thinking woman's giude to a better birth--with a slant toward natural, this book really covers all bases in regards to statistics, etc.---though not too heavy....informative and thorough.

the complete book of pregnancy and childbirth--great for when you first find out you're pregnant.  photos of births and the changes your body will go through....oh and some writing too--for the masses, but smart.

pregnant and getting a bad cramp in your gut every afternoon?

lots of newly pregnant women have this crampy problem, and it is quite uncomfortable.  we probably all tend to blow it off, because who knows if it's normal or not....thinking, "suck it up.  this is part of being pregnant."

my sister-in-law mentioned that she had the same problem, and it turned out that her prenatal vitamin was the culprit.  i decided to go to whole foods and see what my options were.  fortunately, the "pharmacist"  introduced me to new chapter organics perfect prenatal (and in true l.a. form, couldn't resist telling me that gwyneth paltrow had taken them)....sold!!

my brain isn't functioning at anywhere near the level i would need it to to explain why these are different than most vitamins, but you can read why here.  i took these throughout my pregnancy and have continued to take them these last 10 months since my son was born. buy them on amazon for less than half the price of whole foods.  you only take 3 a day (all at once is fine--even on an empty stomach!).   so long gag-worthy horse pills.....